Drunk Stories

So it was the first weekend of the year that my snowboarding/skiing club from my college (VT Snow at Virginia Tech, definitely raddest club ever in existance). What we do is during the winter is go up to a ski resort in West Virginia and cram more than 100 if not 200 people into a few houses designed to snugly fit a family and party all night and go shred in the morning and then do it again the next night. Basically they’re a F**** riot, and the most fun I’ll have drinking in college. But this first weekend my friend was driving up and I decided to get super f*** so about an hour out from our destination I somehow chugged 3/4 of a 40 of, for some reason, Budweiser in around 45 seconds. So I came down from that and felt a little tipsy and had a good rest of the ride up. When we finally got there around I came in and some dude I was just meeting me for the first time asked me if I wanted some Bacardi 151. So I was given basically 2 shots worth of that (2 tumbler glasses with around a shot’s worth) and I had never even heard of nor seen this liquid in my life. At this point I was very trashed, but I just somehow ignored it and continued to drink, drinking more and more as more people showed up. Then, finally, I blacked out, and this is when Toilet Boy emerged for the first and (so far) the only time. As recounted to me by my friend, I had been relatively fine the whole night, and then around 8 or 9 I proceeded to flip a couch by trying to rest on the headrest part with just my knees. Then later this same friend asked me how many years I had at college and I just blurted out 40 with a wide smile and ran off to god knows where. I’m sure there was much more. But then, the grand finale. I suddenly needed to take a dump, so I made the trek across the living room to the bathroom. When I got in, I sat on the toilet, and immediately proceeded to puke in the tub right next to the toilet. And then I decided it would be a good to take off my clothes. So now here I am on the toilet in nothing but my pants on the floor. I proceed to pass out, cleverly putting my hands over my d** so that no one would see. I wake up after someone tried to come in and found me, and realized I had a little puke on me so I decided to get into the shower (after running it for a bit of course), and took a nice bath in the tub. This wouldn’t be so unordinary if I hadn’t just told people to come in but I did and I had some lovely conversations with some people while they too used the bathroom! Lovely night, woke up without a hangover, smoked some bud and went skiing!


Drunken storm…

I was on holiday in Britain (wales to be exact) and if you’ve ever been to wales you know when it rains, it pours! So I thought I’d go for a few at my local pub with my fiend, his girlfriend and her sister. Prior I’ve never met his girlfriend, so as first impressions go, I’m stupid drunk before I even get to meet them!! As the night goes on, over a bottle of wine, few beers, few ciders the world is a happy place, in my mind. Here is where the night becomes interesting, I go to the bathroom, I was sick, so I leave with all my stuff left on the table… I get outside, fall over a fence, crawl onto a bench, and fall asleep out side of the pub, when I wake up, I walk through the pub soaking wet, start dancing on the stage, I sway out of the pub & begin the never ending walk home, on the way I meet a band member and had a very interesting conversation, which I don’t remember but it seemed interesting! Then half way home, I fall over the sidewalk (curb) and land on a patch of grass, and fall asleep again, pouring rain, dirty clothes. When I make it back, I feel like a survived tomb raider on hard, I made it! I lived to tell the story!!

Be safe, stay tipsy!


For my birthday one yea me and my mom had gotten a half gallon of Bacardi blue hurricane and a bottle of pinicle chocolate vodka and I had just put my son down for bed and me and my mother were outside smoking a cigarette when I heard my son crying so I went to go inside to put my drink down which at the time was the Bacardi blue hurricane and my mom went to go sit down on the railing and she fell over onto the ground my brother came walking outside and I went to walk in and told him to help my mom up cause I had to go take care of my son it was one funny night lmao


Well it all started the night of my 37th birthday was mixing Gin nd juice in a blender with strawberries nd ice After two bottles of this my b/f call and said he was on his way Filling pretty good bu now He came with a 3rd bottle drank that one up party a bit.Then my b/f and I headed to the room(I don’t remember saying this but he told me I told him too hurry up with his little dick self cause it ain’t going too last that long I swear lol I didn’t say that When I woke up I was naked my face was on the bathroom floor and my body was in the hallway on the carpet My b/f was gone I don’t remember sh*t